Drivers of the Open Road,

Today, we face a menace that threatens the very flow of civilization itself, a force of obstruction, a plague upon efficiency. I speak, of course, of the Left Lane Campers those who linger where they do not belong, disrupting the natural order of speed and progress. The left lane is not a resting place. It is not a casual cruising lane. It is a lane of purpose, of movement, of swift and decisive action. And yet, these road clogging insurgents' plant themselves in its path, refusing to yield, refusing to acknowledge the sacred duty of keeping traffic flowing. They claim ignorance. They claim entitlement. But we know the truth, they are agents of disorder, sowing frustration, delaying the righteous march of those who drive with purpose. But we will not stand idly by. We will signal. We will pass. We will reclaim the roads from their grip. Let them hear our engines roar. Let them see the flashing lights of justice. And let them know that the left lane is for those who move forward, not those who hesitate.

Drive with purpose! Drive with honor! May the roads be forever free of left lane Morons!

😁 John T is a little bitch

Glorious Soldiers of the Galactic Empire,

Today, we stand united under the banner of order, strength, and destiny. The Rebel insurgents—terrorists who seek to dismantle the peace we have forged—threaten the stability of the galaxy. They claim to fight for freedom, but their reckless actions bring only chaos, destruction, and suffering to the innocent. We are the shield that protects civilization from anarchy. We are the sword that strikes down those who would see the galaxy burn. The Emperor has given us purpose, and through his wisdom, we shall restore balance and security to every world under our dominion. The Rebels hide in the shadows, striking from the fringes like cowards. But we are the Empire—we do not falter, we do not yield, and we do not forgive treason. Their defiance will be crushed beneath the might of our fleet, our legions, and our unwavering resolve. March forward, soldiers of the Empire! Let the galaxy witness our strength. Let the traitors tremble before our might. Victory is inevitable, for we fight not just for ourselves, but for the future of all. Long live the Empire!

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